Splenda-rific

Random statements:
I have determined that I am a hopeless romantic.
Yes, i figure out tax in my head, and I'm proud of it. :-D
Pumpkin seeds are not nearly so good as I remember. they're pretty bad, actually.

I cannot believe the last day of school, for all intents and purposes, is tomorrow. I was so worried about the seniors leaving, that this day kind of snuck up on me. its actually not as sad for me this year, though, because i'll be having the exact same class next year, only without the seniors, and the seniors are already gone, so its ok. the only thing will be not seeing everybody every day anymore.

oh, i finally got my schedule worked out. its changed a bit, now. and patty and kate are going to kill me, i won't be able to work during the week at all, because i have night class monday wednesday thursday, and tuesday even though i don't have a night class persay, my last class doesn't get out till 6.15, which pretty much eliminates chances of working, unless they want me from 6.45-11, which would be unlikely. so yah, from september 21 to thanksgiving, i won't have any weekends off, and/or will be poor. so here is my official schedule, with rounded times:

Mon: 11-12: french; 6.30-9: astronomy
Tue: 11-12: french; 2-3: biology; 5-6: trigonometry
Wed: 11-12: french; 7-10: biology lab
Thu: 11-12: french; 2-3: biology; 5-6: trig; 6.30-9: psychology
Fri: 11-12: french

Thursdays look like lots of fun. but i don't have to worry about this till september. and here's hoping that no one has registered for astronomy since i last checked, because there were exactly two seats left. and those are krystals and phyls, so no one is allowed to take them! anyway, i really need to go finish up my homework. i panicked earlier thinking that our english portfolio was due tomorrow, which its not, but i still have to finish my psych, which isn't quite done.


Not all romances have happy endings, but all love stories are beautiful.

I Smile Because I Have No Idea What's Going On

I have this feeling that there's something really important that I should be doing, but I don't know what it is. It probably has something to do with the fact that rachel is kind of panicking about all the work she has to do, but the only thing I really have to worry about is psychology, and it doesn't seem balanced to me. I mean, finals are the week after next, there should be something important that I have to do, but really its just my outlines for psych and revising (read: lengthening) my papers for my eng portfolio, which won't be too hard. really, the hardest part will be sitting down and reading the chapters for psych without falling asleep.

i have to work today. :-P. only four hours, but still, it means i have to leave the mexico meeting early. oh, and i've decided at least part of the reason i'm friends with mostly guys at work is that the two girls we hired most recently are really very catty. i'm wondering when kyle and eric and cricket are going to start working. hmm.

I did my psych presentation today. it went alright, i guess, but i don't think it was nearly as good as the speeches i did last quarter for my speaking class. i didn't practice it much, which i guess was part of it. also, i wasn't as comfortable with most of the psych class as i was with our speaking class. speaking of which, i was going to email karen (speaking professor) just to keep in touch.

there was something else i was going to talk about, but i cant' think of it now. oh well, i'm off for english.
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english was cancelled, because our professor wasn't feeling well. so i've spent the past hour trying to figure out a schedule, because we register tomorrow. mines complicated, but the only real problem is that the astronomy class we were all planning to take together has only five seats left, and krystal and phyl won't register till sometime in july. that could be problematic. anyway, this is what my schedule looks like:

Monday: 10.00-10.50 cyberpunk movement (thats an english class)
11.00-11.50 intensive french 1
6.30- 9.10 astronomy

Tuesday: 11.00-11.50 intensive french 1
5.00-6.15 trigonometry

Wednesday: same as monday

Thursday: 11.00-11.50 intensive french 1
5.00-6.15 trigonometry
6.30-9.10 psych of interpersonal relations

Friday: same as monday

yah, told you it was complicated. i won't be late for show choir this year, though. as a matter of fact, i could be at the school two and a half hours early if i wanted to be. it will be interesting to see what my work schedule will be like now, though. they usuallly schedule me to work anywhere from 1.30 to 11.15 on tuesdays and thursdays, and they can't do that now. they could get me from 12.30-4.30, maybe, but that would be about it. on the other hand, i will be available from 12.30 on on fridays, so... hey, that could mean daytime hours instead of late hours on friday. that would be nice.


You mean She-WHo-Must-Not-Be-Named?
~Fozzi bear, playing the cowardly lion, referring to the Wicked Witch of the West in the Muppets Wizard of OZ

LIL B BLU

that is the license plate number (er, letter) of the car i am going to steal (disclaimer: not really). it pulled into kroger while i was waiting for my mom to pick me up. its a mini cooper S in this really neat baby blue color with cool wheel covers. it was very pretty. *grin*

when i was at work today, i realized that all the people i really talk to, except krystal, are guys. i talk to the other girls that are working there, but the only people i would actually call friends are don philip eric and cory (and krystal). just an odd little fact i thought i'd throw out there. it probably has something to do with the fact that while the number of guys and gals that work there are pretty even, when it comes to teenagers, there are more guys. speaking of which, i have been declared musically retarded by don (i prefer musically challenged) because of my complete lack of knowledge of musicians, bands, and song titles, which i freely admit is pretty much...nil.

what else have i been doing... heh, i'm trying to ask off for all the graduation parties i've been invited to. and get off for the movie day/night we (me, rachel, phyl, krystal, and miles) planned. i think i'm going to cheat and call that a graduation party too. oh, and get off for my birthday. all in the same two weeks. it's a shame i just told them i was available on mondays again, otherwise i would have my bday off automatically, cause its a monday. graduation is still this friday, i still can't believe it. i spent all day at work listening to don (junior) and jp (senior) argue about jp leaving loveland. it was a bit strange...they were acting really serious, even though they weren't really, while at the same time, they kind of were. i dunno. point is, seniors are leaving us, and we be-eth sad. and the idea that i will be a senior next year, which i also have not yet believed, was also re-enforced by two emails about being a senior mentor next year. oh the scaryness. and college finals are in just a couple weeks as well. this quarter flew by, really it did. oh, and i have one, two poems up.


I'm not procrastinating, I just need some more time to prepare my uncompleteness.
~alex c, aka big teddy bear

Come on, Come on, The world will follow after

i am in such a good mood its almost unreal. i say almost, because the damper on my good mood is that tomorrow is the last day with seniors. the very last day. it just can't be, but it is. from now on, choir will be without april and turner and miles. that just can't be true....those three have just defined the choir program, at least for me, and now they're just going to be gone..................i've talked about this a lot already though, and wishing is not going to slow down time at all, because trust me i've tried, so i'll return to my happy mood now. *sigh* i just feel all warm and fuzzy and..happy. and its like i was reading on someone elses journal recently, who was also feeling happy, it seems like being happy is almost against the rules or something in our world today. what with the emphasis on terrorism and scandal and politics and violence.....but i don't care, i'm happy anyway.

other than that, i'm thinking i don't have much to say...i have a bunch of days to request off now, for grad parties, and graduation itself. speaking of which, hugs to mrs. b because the administration is still freaking out on her. hugs. the band concert was fun, and we did really good with our bake sale for mexico. we sold everything but one muffin, which we gave to mr. o as a thank you for letting us hold the bake sale.

oh, i almost forgot. me and phyl helped with fun day for the little kids today. we were doing the jart toss (yes, its with a j, no typo there) and we were each controlling one line, and one of the classes that came through, i had all the boys in my line (because almost all the classes were boys v girls, of course), and they were looking at phyl and whispering to each other- 'thats the heel clicker!' 'don't you remember? he came to our school with the choir and he clicked his heels' 'he's that guy who jumped really high and clicked his heels together'- just the way they were whispering together and calling him heel clicker was so amusing, i still laugh thinking about it.

whee i'm happy. but i think i've said that already. i'll stop before i become annoyingly repetetive, though i might have already got there.


Love will fly if held too lightly, Love will die if held too tightly, Lightly, tightly, how do I know Whether I'm holding or letting love go?

Think about it every time I think about it / Can't stop thinking bout it

I suppose its a good thing the way everyone is reacting to the news that me and phyl are going back out again- its better than being 'starcrossed lovers', say- but part of me think its kind of creepy. its almost as if they've been watching us, waiting with baited breath for us to get back together. i dunno. like i said, its creepy feeling. And i've also got a bit of a guilty feeling. i'm not sure, its almost like i feel like i'm having it both ways, and i shouldn't be allowed to do that. i don't know if its because almost no one knows the details of our breakup before, or because i don't know why everything clicked all of a sudden. maybe because i don't know why, i don't know why it couldn't have happened sooner, and i feel bad that it took so long. i dunno. even with all that, i'm very happy. :-)

our choir concert was last night, and i think we did really well. all the high school choirs did a really good job (yes, even concert choir- believe it or not, they really have improved, even if the guys still struggle with, ah, hitting the same note). middle school choir did well as far as i could tell, except for their show choir. they were really lackadaisical about the whole thing (isn't that a fun word). and they were whining, whispering, and laughing While everyone-including them- was onstage performing joyful. mrs. b was really mad about that when i told her. off stage behavior was absolutely horrid for concert choir and middle school. i can't really say, as i was on stage almost the entire night, but thats what i've heard from everyone, and i don't doubt it. more good news, though, is that our sound system was working! mrs b had a sound guy show her how it worked, so we had a Working monitor and were able to turn the mikes up loud enough that show choir could be heard all the way out in the main hallway. those who haven't been in show choir don't realize what a big deal this is, but normally we have mrs. b standing about fifteen yards away from the stage going 'i can't hear you. sing Louder.' so that was just really neat all in itself, and the monitor too- the first year, we had the monitor but no monitor cables. last year, we had the monitor cables but couldn't find the spot to hook up the monitor. this year- a working monitor! and due to the show choir's year long success, i finally was able to email mrs. b again...happier email this time, though much shorter.

I'm a bit sad right now though, because i just got my schedule for next week and i'm working friday, which means i can't go to the mayfest concert thing. i would convince someone to take my hours, but every cashier who isn't working is marked as either unavailable or requested. the only one who is just 'off' is nick, and other than friday he only has one day off, so i doubt he'd go for that, although i'll ask him, just in case. maybe i can take his hours on wednesday or thursday or something. ah well. i have upward bound to look forward to tomorrow. yay! oh, but i just realized this is the last upward bound for alex and lindsay...wow that just hit me...how sad....


There are no impossible dreams, just our limited perception of what is possible.

True Companion

I had that song stuck in my head all night at work, because i heard it while i was on break. and now its stuck in my head again.

I've been in a really good mood all week. I dunno, i've just been really happy lately. it's pretty outside, we have a new computer, im getting a car for my birthday, confusion has been happily resolved...

our final choir concert is tomorrow. that still seems really strange to me, that its so soon. i guess its because high school for me is equivalent to choir, and i hadn't really registered how close we were to the end of the year because i kept thinking our concert was far away. but its not. its tomorrow. and we've got just under a month left till the end of college, counting finals week, and even less than that for high school. just a couple weeks, actually. and then will come summer academy, where there will be no lindsay and no alex and we will be the seniors in denial instead of them. nope, thats not happening. nuh uh. it is not that close to our senior year, not at all. we will not be getting ready to go away for college this time next year. nope. not us. nosiree. okay, i'm done with my denial bit now.

what else was i going to write about...
hmm. well what have i been thinking about, that should help...

i'm registered for the sat finally. i'm taking it june 4, but i have to go all the way out to xavier or walnut hills (i forget which) to take it. its crazy.

what else was there? hmmm, whats been happening the last couple days...i told philip at work last night that i could take his hours saturday...ive gotten drawn back into neopets, sadly enough...my english teacher missed our conference- i was there, she wasn't....and now i'm drawing a blank.


Chocolate is more than a taste, its a feeling.

New Computer Woes and Wonders

ha, i just freaked out because i thought our new computer froze, but i was just using the wrong mouse. heh. we still have all our old computer stuff (ie- mouse, keyboard, computer itself) sitting at the desk, but its the new mouse, keyboard, and computer that are actually hooked up. anyway. i love our new computer. this is the first time i'm using it, but its windows xp, which makes me happy. i've always loved the way the screens look on xp. and our new keyboard has buttons to control volume and the cd player and stuff on it. technically, our old keyboard had that too, but the buttons didn't work on the old one, so that doesn't count. the one sad thing about our new computer is i just went to check the harry potter fanfics that i like. i have a bunch bookmarked, so i can see when they're updated and don't lose track of them. but new computer means a new favorites list, and i just lost them all. *tear* i'll have to remember them all and find them again. ah well. small price to pay for a great new computer.

oh, and i was watching that elvis miniseries thing (i stopped because my family would not stop heckling me about it) but while i was watching, it came to the part of the story with his first live performance, and he was chewing gum. while he was singing. i really need to tell mrs. b. that.


The voices aren't real, but they have good ideas.

Attack of the Killer Pink Frogs (aka interrupting the migration patterns of funny looking pink frogs)

I love my grandpa. and his friend. those of you who have not heard the story of our poor pathetic saturn car, it had pretty much died and was just sitting on the side of the road. my grandpa's friend loves fixing up old cars (thats actually who we got our van from, its a 92) and he came down (during the week of the huge blizzard) dug it out of the snow, and took it back up to findlay to play with it and try to get it working again. today, my grandpa revealed that the saturn is going to be my birthday present! yay that makes me happy! i have to get my license now. i think he was even saying he would put the title in his name, so he'd pay insurance and everything, but the car would be mine. ah, thats such good news! although, its not quite fixed yet, but they're pretty sure it'll get there. but thats not all. my grandpa also took my dad out today while me amy and mom were watching sahara again (which is my new favorite movie, its awesome, i've seen it twice now) and paid for a new hp computer! i don't know why my grandparents are rich. my grandmas an artist, but its not like everyones clamoring for her paintings, although they are beautiful and have won a few local awards. my grandpa is a ww2 vet and worked for marathon, but its not like he was the ceo or anything. ah well. the point is, we have a new computer and i will have my own car! and our new computer has a gigantic hard drive. our computer now is 40 gbytes, and we don't even use all of that, but our new one is 160 gbytes. and thats the only statistic i know, sorry.

in other exciting news, my dad finally graduated from msj today, so he officially has his masters degree in education and can start teaching next year. my aunt janissa and grandparents are down for the weekend (hence all the exciting gifts from grandpa). emilys having loads of fun playing with aj, as she calls our aunt janissa. she's really wonderful with emily, and em loves her. actually, em's bummed out because i'm flying out to visit aj this summer, because she told us that each of us can visit her the summer after our junior year, and em's sad because its just me going and not her. ah well. she'll be very depressed and mopey for the week after aj leaves, but she'll bounce back.

aaaanything else exciting........don't think so. i've been listening to some really funny stories aj has about wildlife encounters, as thats pretty much what she does for a living (thats where the title comes from here). so thats all for today. oh, the quotes for the next several entries will probably be to do with chocolate, because i got a bag of dove candies today, and they have quotes on the wrappers, most about chocolate.


chocolate makes everything a little bit better.

Grapevine

Our house is very clean. it's scary, almost. and we rearranged our living room completely, and downstairs too, but not as much there. its strange, it could almost pose for a picture on a magazine or something. the company we were cleaning for have not arrived yet, though. my aunt janissa was supposed to fly in from idaho last night, but her flight from detroit to here was cancelled, so she got to findlay (not sure how) and then she's driving down from there. actually, she might just hook up with my grandparents, who are also coming down from findlay. my dad graduates from mt. st. joe tomorrow, which is the reason everyones coming down.

I can't believe that awards nite for choir and band is monday. that seems way too soon. i dunno, it just seems like the year shouldn't be almost over already, but it is. its scary. we're going to be seniors in denial in a month. just one month! ah! and then college searches must be taken seriously...scariness. and our concert is this thursday. thats scary too. but we're actually almost ready, i think. and after that i can finally email mrs. b, which i've been waiting to do for...a really long time.

i should be working on my stuff for newspaper. i really need to find a topic. i need to find something going on at ucc that i can write 350 words about, or more. hmmm. i guess i should go work on that now.

oh, and in case there is anyone in the high school who my sister has not already told, me and phyl are going back out again.



True strength is breaking a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands, and then eating only one of the pieces.

I love the java jive and it loves me

update on confusion status- nagging from annoying little sister and co. aside, i'm not really confused anymore...i'm just thinking about what i'm going to do, and its that decision that is the hard part. now, onto topics that more than two people are aware of.

aside from the nagging of littles sister and co., our choir program 'tour' was fun. and successful, i think. little kids are awesome. i love performing for marr/cook. even if they fidget while we perform, watching their faces when we do something unexpected is really neat. like in joyful joyful, when the music got fast alll of a sudden, they all were like 'woah', and you could actually hear them saying that. also, this time around i found my ohio reads kid (although she got in trouble for talking halfway through). she didn't see me at first , and i knew mrs. b would kill me if i waved, so i just looked at her really hard and smiled at her, and she saw me, and her face lit up, and she kept smiling at me time to time for the rest of the program.

for the songs themselves, concert choir is actually improving. its scary, almost. the voice instructor person actually taught them something. and doing mountain music for show choir was...interesting. it was fun, almost, if you relaxed enough to laugh at yourself. and we did good for chamber choir- i liked the semicircles we were set up in, i could hear all the altos, not just rachel and krystal.

and we played ten fingers at lunch. when i was at work, i thought of good ones that i didn't think of, of course, while we were playing. i've never eaten a payday. i've never paid for a pop with vanilla or fruit flavoring. etc. etc.



How wise you were to open not; and yet how poor if you should turn him from your door. If love should count you worthy.

I just don't know and I'm so confused

prom was wonderful. i felt all pretty and it was a good time. they had a chocolate fountain! it was so cool. and i was surprised, abby was wearing a long light blue dress. i was expecting her in something short and either pink or black. the whole night was magical really. oh, and many kudos to alex (kyles girlfriend) for coming up with the ingenius idea of filling the little glasses with chocolate. even though thats how i ended up getting chocolate on my dress. it was still a brilliant idea. afterprom was fun too, although confusing for me. alex was the queen of the stuffed animal machine, winning a grand total of eight stuffed animals (well, one was actually a porcelain doll). someone else won the felix she wanted though. and corey and david came to afterprom...without going to prom (btw, corey, if you're reading this, phyl is under orders from kyle to beat you for hitting alex with that balloon, because it hurt her). we posed for lots of pictures the entire night, too. my mom took almost an entire roll, and i took two rolls. see, my mom took pictures of me at home, then when we stopped at rachels they wanted pics, so my mom took some there too, and then she took some of all of us at o charleys, and then we went to kyles house for pics, and she took more there. and she might have taken some when she dropped us off as well.

and now i really wish i could go to this weeks saturday academy, because i really need to talk to abby. i think i've finally decided what i'm going to do, but i'm really afraid to and i need to tell someone before i actually do it. shes the only one i can think of really, because ive listened to her so many times. i'm afraid waiting two weeks might be too long, though. either i'll have to do this over email or find a time to talk to jan instead. ah well. i'll survive, hopefully.



Love will fly if held too lightly. Love will die if held too tightly. Lightly, tightly, how do I know whether I'm holding or letting love go?