Misunderstood

shouts yells screams sobs doors slamming Everyone frustrated sobbing crying sreaming or worse muttering that they are misunderstood I hate it most when the mutter those are the words that it always seems I am the only one who hears I ame the only one affected by them The same way it seems like I am the only one who can feel others frustration in my heart and soul and very bones even when-especially when-it isn't spoken and since i am the only one feeling thses things it's only logical that of course they are speaking to me me for no one else is hearing or sensing their frustration and that is what then frustrates me and upsets me because no matter what they are actually saying-usually "no one understands"- I hear "YOU don't understand" and those words cut into my heart and i want to shout "i do understand! i want to help you, but you are too busy slamming doors. i cannot penetrate the cloud of negative energy you have surrounded yourself with. you say no one understands you, so certain that it's true, that it makes me invisible. I DO understand , but in your belief of being misunderstood and eternally frustrated, that cannot be so, so i cannot exist and am not here. i am invisible. Always the invisible bystander, no matter what is wrong or who is frustrated when people are talking i can feel the tension, hear the steel in their tone, when they cannot. i know exactly what both need to hear and say to make things right smooth things over. ofthen they are saying the same thing and need just a small translation to be understood. but they are too stubborn frustrated 'misunderstood' to sacrifice their ways and practices at all, in the tiniest gesture, to compromise. small words and phrases which would harm neither and help both cannot be said not even for the greater good of peace. instead both sit stewing in their seperate worlds, surrounded in their fog of negative energy and that is when I lose understanding. that they cannot see the slight changes necessary to make peace, that the would rather fill the entire place with negative energy and gloom and frustration until it smothers those of us- and i am the only one of us that i know- to whom frustration and gloom and negativity and misunderstanding are almost foreign, until we-I-are finally driven outside by it, where even with the snow and ice, it is warmer and more inviting than the atmosphere inside, fraught with misery and nerves and frustration and gloom.

AFTERNOTES-
1. please do not think that i am suddenly revealing a shockingly angry and destructive homelife. i'm not. these events are rare, usually happening only when everyone is sleep deprived and their patience is running thin. this applies as much if not more to choir, esp. the renaissance feaste and show choir.
2. if you read this, it is much more important to me that you try to understand others around you and see things through their eyes, rather than leaving a post of sympathy and sorryness. Although this doesn't mean don't post, keep in mind that the first is infinitely more important than the second.